cried alot today. yes, i may appear like an asshole but i do have feelings. perhaps cried more than my entire life so far.
had a little argument with my mother about my father. the usual her bringing up him in a very conversational manner. so i shouted back, blabla became the asshole. some how after awhile we cried together. so feeling pretty fucked right now.
reflected over alot of shit. found one more reason why religions exist. to help people get over the pain of loss of their loved ones. "reincarnation", "going to heaven" blabla. if they do really exist for such a reason, then wtf. i do not think my father has become a deity, someone else on the street or whatever. i just believe he has left us. perhaps maybe thats why im still feeling very sad right now, or maybe even 10 years later.
blabla incoherent shit.
just felt like i need to register this down somewhere to keep me from being a tactless fuckhead.
reflect.
posted by `-ryoken # 7:33 PM
